The moon and my man!

PC: Unsplash

Eyes gazing at the sea..
My heart ablazed when his sandy foot touched mine..
The breezy drizzle added rhythm to the choppy waves..
A rogue wave bedewed the whole me
Leaving the busted shells all-over me..
Tears egressing from the corner of the eyelid I looked at him
..

“Broken conches never hum the song of the sea” said with his mitt on my cheeks.
As he saw an upward curve on my lips
He leaned forward to examine it.
His tongue fellating a droplet across my lower lip “You’re a magician” he grinned.
Even the sea water turns sweetest on you! hushed kissing me..
Biting him I reddened by punishing him for the sarcasm
.

The furiousness of turbulent waves enhances under the moon,
So am I, in his presence!

Copyright ยฉ Optimistic Soul


Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this siteโ€™s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Optimistic Soul with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

46 Comments Add yours

  1. Jordy says:

    A lovely, descriptive, passionate poem! Well done!!๐Ÿค—

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you so much dear ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽˆ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Jordy says:

        You are welcome!โญ๏ธ

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Echoing Jordy’s comment here! Your poem has indeed captured my imagination very well, Optimistic Soul. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I would like to offer you two constructive suggestions or recommendations so that you may improve your poem even more, if you so wish:

      (1) Some of the punctuations or sentence structures can be adjusted and/or experimented to enhance the poem.

      (2) Since the title of your poem is “The moon and my man!”, your poem stands to gain much more by the subtle and/or sophisticated weaving of the influence and/or imagery of the moon, not just the sea, breezy drizzle, waves, shells, you, your man, and “โ€ฆunder the moon”.

      In any case, I would like to reciprocate the spirit of your excellent poem with my art and special poem at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2012/10/02/if-my-name-were-moon-tonight/

      May you enjoy the festive season and happy mid-December to you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hey..That’s so nice of you.
        Thank you so much for the valuable suggestions. I’m just a crawling kid learning from everything I see.
        Your words mean a lot to me Thank you once again.
        Love and blessings ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    3. Hi Optimistic Soul,

      You are very welcome. ๐Ÿ™‚ Please kindly preserve my comment as I do care about you and your creative oeuvre.

      Somehow, I doubt that you are just a crawling kid, even if you are making a figure of speech or a form of self-deprecation. There is certainly a considerable amount of maturity and sensitivity in you.

      In my long post published at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2013/01/06/soundeagle-in-john-clinocks-art-rat-cafe/, you can look for a poem called “Transfigured Night” by Richard Dehmel. It is originally called “Verklรคrte Nacht” as it is originally written in German. I have included both the English and German versions. There, you can appreciate how the moon is quite central even though it is directly mentioned only three times.

      So rich and evocative is the poem that it had been set to music by Arnold Schoenberg in 1899. Listen to the sumptuous and romantic music that I have included in the post as well. Please enjoy!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah sure ๐Ÿ™‚ would love to read.
        Thank you ๐Ÿ™‚
        And the letters in you site name is Tamil right? Do you write Tamil poems as well?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. The answer to your question can be found in my post published at https://soundeagle.wordpress.com/2012/09/05/soundeagle-in-art-and-poetry/

        Please be informed that you might need to use a desktop or laptop computer with a large screen to view the rich multimedia contents available for heightening your multisensory enjoyment at my websites, some of which could be too powerful and feature-rich for iPad, iPhone, tablet or other portable devices to handle properly or adequately. A fast broadband connection is also helpful. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Like

  2. Nirant Gurav says:

    Beautiful piece dost ๐Ÿ–ค
    Lovely read

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you dost โค

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nirant Gurav says:

        Pleasure always for ur words dost ๐Ÿ–ค

        Liked by 3 people

  3. OneLife says:

    What a lovely piece to read on a wintry night with a warm cup of coffee ๐Ÿ™‚ . This one is muahhhh !

    Liked by 4 people

    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      Thank you sweetheart

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this piece with love, passion and truth together!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you so much dear ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽˆ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so welcome!! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  5. rue202 says:

    Like this one! Very good.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you sweetheart ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Unni Babu says:

    Wow this poem is a masterpiece

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much Unni Babu ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  7. Really heart touching Meera ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Piyush โค ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow. This is so brilliantly written the vivid imagery was enticing

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much.
      Your words mean a lot to me ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Anonymous says:

    Hi theree!!! I just nominated you for the sunshine blogger award! Congratulations!!! Do check out my post, I have posted 11 questions for you to answer.

    https://unrevealedthoughts1310.wordpress.com/2018/12/17/sunshine-blogger-award/

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you dear ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  10. Chiru says:

    Lovely poem Meera..

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ink Link says:

    You know very well how to fix words in such a beautiful verse

    Liked by 1 person

    1. โค Thank you dear

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I dugg some of you post as I cogitated they were very helpful invaluable

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s so kind of you โค ๐Ÿ™‚
      Thank you so much
      Love and blessings from this side ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  13. kootsss says:

    OMG! Thatโ€™s lovely โœจ๐Ÿ‘Œ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you โค ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  14. Moon and love? Be there any clichรฉ — any clichรฉ – your wondrous mind cannot turn fresh again?

    There’s so much I love about this poem — and I am voluntarily celibate. I pass by most love poems as boring to me.

    The final image is *gasp* accurate. So to a lesser extent is this:

    “My heart ablazed when his sandy foot touched mine..”

    Obviously, you have been there, done that, and now have the T shirt to prove it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha Lol.. I’ve never been there. Not even in my dream.
      It’s just my imagination.
      Thank you so much for the kind read.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nice! You imagination, I mean.

        I want to tell you a romantic, sexy true story of an electrifying touch, but it’s too long for a blog comment despite being quite beautiful and touching (pun shamelessly intended). However, the point can be stated: Your imagination got it right.

        โ€œBroken conches never hum the song of the seaโ€

        So true and meaningful in the context of the poem.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahhaa my imagination got it right? Lol thank you ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Isis Kennett says:

    Wow that was unusual. I just wrote an really long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t appear. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyway, just wanted to say wonderful blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish I could read that ..
      Anyways Thank you so much โค ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

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